“She wanted it!” - Rape Culture

By: Haseena Syazlin

Rape Culture | Photo from: Google

What is rape?

A sexual intercourse without consent or with a person who is unable to consent is rape. Bear in mind that a consent is when one says “YES” voluntarily, and not the absence of a “no”. If you have consented to a sexual act before, it does not automatically mean that you have also consented to other sexual acts.

What is rape culture?

Rape culture is a setting in which disregards women’s rights and safety and where rape is normalized and excused in the media and popular culture. Rape culture perpetuates through the persistent use of misogynistic language, the objectification and hypersexualization of women’s bodies, as well as the glamorization of sexual violence.

One of the most normalized behaviour by the society is making a joke out of sexual violence. Vulgar chants about women and rape such as "no means yes, yes means anal" or “boys will be boys” is a clear example of rape culture and underplaying this important issue. Yes, jokes are jokes, however, making a light out of this issue may reopen trauma of victims of sexual assault. These “jokes” are also a subtle message that sexual assault is not a big deal. When we dismiss the importance of this issue, it makes rape more acceptable in the society.

Victim-blaming

The sad reality of rape culture is that the victims are always at fault instead of their predators. Society always blames the victim for what was done to them. If the victims were drunk or were wearing revealing clothes, then it’s their fault for getting raped as they “asked for it” and did not protect themselves.

Rape culture is also having the idea that women must always dress themselves in a way that is acceptable for the males’ gaze. We always excused the men as they “can’t help themselves” around a woman who shows her skin. This apparently means the natural female form is a distraction for them. The billion dollar question here is, why we don’t teach the men how to lower their gaze instead of making women having to cater to their inability to control themselves?

Women are objects

Women are always seen as an object rather than humans. Society often objectify women and treat them like objects instead of a person. Hence, this makes sexual assaults against women more acceptable. This often happens in the music industry. Just take a look at Robin Thicke’s “Blurred Lines”.

This kind of language teaches people that women’s bodies are objects to be consumed. It also teaches men that women exists only to be used.

“Man Up!”

Culture has taught men to be hyper-masculine. They have been taught since young to always be dominant. If things do not go as they please, they are supposed to get angry. There are also plenty of all-male groups that encourage and justify the abuse on women and will label other men as a coward or a sissy if they are unable to have a sexual intercourse with a female - with or without consent. They will be looked down upon and this pressures them. Hence, they would do anything to ensure that they are not labelled as such even if this includes rape. To end rape culture, one must raise boys without toxic masculinity.

The #MeToo Movement can be defined as a social movement that is against sexual violence and sexual assault. | Photo from: Google

It happens to everybody

Rape is typically seen as a crime committed solely against women. Though this article focuses on that one specific type of sexual assault, rape can also be committed against men. Many cases of male rape go unreported because of the social stigma attached to it. When women are raped, they are questioned about their attire and whether it was “inviting”, while male victims would be questioned about their masculinity.

We, as a society have the power to leave behind the rape culture. What a person is wearing, whether he or she was sober or not, and where were they at a certain time, is not an invitation for rape. Do not say, “She wanted it!” but instead give support and do say “We hear you. We see you. We believe you.”